As I began this journey to watch each and every Disney movie with my wife, Paige, I am immediately met with her dismay. She loves Disney, and loves Disney movies, but the thought of watching anything from pre-2005 is essentially torture. To her credit, 1937 is basically 100 years ago, and I only have vague memories of seeing this movie myself. It is a classic for a reason, right?

Okay, about two minutes in, I can only think of two great scenes from Shrek that were pulled from this movie. Huge Shrek fan.

Yikes. The Huntsman. We are 5 minutes into the first Disney movie, and this guy is wielding the shiniest knife in all the land to murder this nice girl. Credit to him for not doing it, but it really did not take that much to convince him to do it, and even less to convince him to stop.

Okay. 15 minutes in. Paige is, once again, complaining about how old the movie is. Yes, it does not look like Frozen, or Moana. I acknowledge that. The fact that it has color does not even make sense to me, so I am impressed thus far. Should have paid closer attention to the Carrousel of Progress to figure out when they got those fancy color TVs.

Snow White just wanders into this random house, and roasts all the residents without meeting them. Claims they must be motherless orphans.

Is the Dwarf’s Heigh-Ho song the most underrated Disney song of all time? Probably not. But I love it. The ride in Magic Kingdom is cool too. The anticipation of the heigh-ho’s as you go up the coaster is playing a huge part in why I enjoy it for sure.

Paige is a huge fan of the woodworking on the dwarves’ beds. She also stated she herself is sleepy, as we sit just 25 minutes into the movie.

The Dwarves’ exclaimed “Jiminy Crickets” which makes me wonder if I have messed up my ordering of these movies. Can’t make that mistake on the first one.

Paige is a big fan of their eyelashes. I too acknowledge they have great eyelashes. Surprising for their home to be in such disarray, but to have eyelashes that are that impressive.

Sneezy brings limited value to the crew. At least Dopey can be easily conned into searching for the potential murderer.

That is a 2nd uttering of “Jiminy Crickets”. Heavy foreshadowing.

“All females is poison” – Grumpy. Paige is not a fan, claims that is inaccurate. I have no comment.

Why can’t Doc speak? Paige says he is the leader, but my guy just can’t get a sentence in without spazzing out.

Janey, Paige’s Mother, has now entered the room. I am sure she will be very opinionated herself. Paige is very caught up on the fact that movies with color began in 1902. I am quoting her on this, even though she asked me not to.

Snow White has marched into their house, demanded they show their hands, and then forced them to go outside and clean up. Grumpy has now made his second misogynistic comment.

The gang has now jumped Grumpy, forcing him to wash himself, against his wishes. He may have had this coming.

Janey has fallen asleep. The mirror has rated Snow White as the fairest in the land once again. A real dynasty brewing out here.

The Huntsman is in trouble (pig’s heart was a nice touch). Paige acknowledges that the Evil Queen does not seem happy being fooled. Ahh this is the movie with the poison apple? This makes sense.

Paige now explains to me that the evil queen turns into the “old hag” who delivers this apple. I understand the Huntsman was not reliable, but no one else could have given her this fruit?

Paige states that the dwarves seem happier and I agree, this does seem short lived based on the whole poison apple thing that happened about 2 minutes prior. It is nice to see them enjoying their time off from the mines, though.

The happiness has gone on for quite some time, they are also musically talented for the most part. She now sings about her Prince, and how someday he will come. Paige reminds me that she sprinted away in fear from this Prince in the one of the first scenes of the movie.

About an hour in, and Dopey eyes up the best pillow in the house as the rest of the dwarves’ let Snow White sleep in their beds (that does not seem comfortable for her at all). He is mauled almost immediately, being left with only a feather.

Snow White is now praying. I do not recall prayers in Frozen 2.

The Evil Queen did manage to make that apple look appetizing, once you get passed the skull and cauldrons and such of that nature. Also, she said she will be the fairest in the land as long as she murders Snow White. The mirror never says anything of the sort.

Paige now explains to me that the Queen is Snow White’s Step Mother. Where is her dad? What happened to her birth mother? Are we just accepting this is her reality?

I am pretty sure she just made a pie of peas.

Oops sorry, Gooseberry pies. Not sure what that is, no wonder an apple was so enticing.

After being mauled by animals, and with no other context, Sleepy exclaims that the Evil Queen must be harming Snow White. Facts are facts.

Down goes Snow White!

I definitely have never seen this movie. The dwarves chasing her up the mountain, followed by the murderous lightening strike. Paige and I both acknowledge that we would not have guessed that.

Did she actually die?

The Prince has returned! Anddd kisses the dead girl.

Alright yeah this makes sense, true loves first kiss? Back to my Shrek theory. Shrek was 50% Snow White.

Paige now thinks that she did die, and this was her heaven. I do not have enough information to dispute this.

Now that the movie is over, we have a few comments:

1. There were only like 4 characters in this movie (if you exclude the seven dwarves). The whole universe consisted of mostly animals who played a pivotal role.

2. This was better than I thought it would be. I was expecting this to be unwatchable.

3. Of all the dwarves, my favorite has to be Dopey. Not particularly close.

4. Paige’s favorite dwarf was Sneezy. She says it is because she sneezes a lot. Bad reason to like a character.

Paige’s Rating 6/10

Matt’s Rating 7/10