On to the second movie in the Disney catalog, as far as I know at least. As I watch this movie with my wife, Paige, and her mother, Janey, I acknowledge it has a lot of work to do to live up to Snow White and Seven Dwarfs. Another alleged classic, Pinocchio, was created in 1940 and opens with Jiminy Cricket making his presence firmly known to “When You Wish Upon a Star”.

What happened to Jiminy? He was referenced in Snow White, and now narrates and tells the tale of movie #2? (Turns out he is just a character in this movie, shows my knowledge).

For starters, Paige and I agree that we do not recall Geppetto sounding as he does. I now am not sure if I ever actually saw this one at all.

Figaro is immediately in the running for my favorite character, and we are just a few minutes in. Nothing has really happened aside from the puppeteer prancing around with his newly minted doll.

I am very unsure of how I feel about this movie. I do not really understand why this guy wants his puppet to be a real boy, it just seems like a lot of responsibility for someone who needs his cat to open the window for him at night.

Not a fan of Geppetto’s snoring. I was told it sounds like me. Not a fan of that either.

Pinocchio is now a real boy! Jiminy, a homeless cricket, is now in charge of guiding him.

Janey, my wife’s mother, has no thoughts, as we are just 20 minutes in.

That, dare I say, blunderbuss, that Geppetto pulls out is pretty impressive. Snow White’s Huntsman had a knife, Pinocchio’s Geppetto had a firearm. We are 2-2 with weapons in Disney Movies.

Pinocchio is alived, and one of the first things he is told is he has to go to school? I may not have any children, but I would imagine the sign-up process is a bit more involved than that.

Oh boy, these foxes look like they are up to no good, wandering the streets of Italy. Not a good sign.

Janey is singing along to this ridiculous song by obvious villian, “Honest John”. Jiminy Cricket, arrives absurdly too late for someone who has one job.

Honest John is an angry fellow, who cannot get out of his own hat. Terrible villain so far.

Now Stromboli on the other hand. This guy feels like a villain. Also the only obviously Italian guy in Italy.

Oh wait, he is a villain. Should have watched a few more minutes I guess.

This guy just cannot stop lying. How long did this guy’s nose have to grow before he realized this was an issue? “A boy who won’t be good might as well be made of wood”

Alright, a needed quick pause. This large, chubby guy talking to Honest John, wants to pay him to:

1. Find disobedient boys
2. Kidnap them
3. Take them to Pleasure Island

I was waiting for an explanation that made this not sound as horrible as it did, but that just simply never occurred. This guy is now in the lead for the worst villain.

Pleasure Island has a Tobacco Row, an area just to brawl with some like-minded folks, and dill pickles. So far it seems above board.

I now understand why there was a warning for Tobacco usage in the introduction to the movie.

I do not remember any of this donkey transformation stuff. There is a lot to digest in this movie.

And now Geppetto has been eaten by a whale? There is no rhyme of reason to any of this storyline. And Jiminity has heard the legends of this whale??

Jiminity Cricket can breathe underwater. No explanation given, or needed, I guess. Also, the name Monstro the Whale carries a lot of weight out here apparently, the ocean wants no business with them.

Janey has fallen asleep. Paige has actually just asked if Crickets can breathe underwater. This movie can be confusing for small children and 28-year-old Social Workers.

Now that is a mean whale. I entirely understand the hype behind him. Upon that crash landing to shore, and all that went into it, is impressive that Cleo stayed in her bowl!

Pinocchio, seemingly dead on shore, is the second death of the main character in the first two movies we have watched. And as expected, both were resurrected.

He is officially a real boy!!!

Now that the movie is over, we have a few comments:

1. When You Wish Upon a Star is iconic, I never would have thought it came from Pinocchio. I guess it makes sense though.

2. Paige is upset that the main character dies two movies in a row.

3. Janey has no comments. Throughout an hour and a half movie. She claims she did not know it was a weird movie.

4. In a stunning twist, Janey, Paige and I also voted Figaro as our favorite character.

Paige’s Rating 5.5/10

Matt’s Rating 4/10

Janey’s Rating 4/10